I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You took a bar mat shot.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
