now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
