Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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