So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
