i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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