i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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