Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
