Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
