i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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