I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
