Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
