I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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