sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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