His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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