you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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