i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
