Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
