He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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