You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
