are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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