so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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