we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
