one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
