You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
