What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
