Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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