Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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