Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
