You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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