Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
