I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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