i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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