I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
