The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
