Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
