I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
