there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
