if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
