i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
