and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
