she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
