WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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