obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
