All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
