So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
