he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
