There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
