i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
