When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
