so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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