Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
