reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
