btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
