"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
