i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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